Weigh in!

I've gained 20 pounds in 32 weeks. I'm not going to spend the next 7 years losing baby weight and that makes me very, very happy. Had my appointment yesterday and everything looks good. The midwife thinks the baby's head is down - which is corroborated by what I'm feeling, so that is good news!

Ready. Or Whatever.

Well, we have a crib. We have a rocking chair. We have a carseat, a stroller, a Baby Bjorn, a bouncer, a breastpump. A baby gate. And more 0-3 and 3-6 mo. onesies than any one child could ever need.

But I don't feel ready. There are women who are ready before they are ever women. Before they can technically even reproduce. My mom ALWAYS new she wanted to be a mom. I didn't. But I'm here and I'm not going to half-ass this. I'm not thinking about what crap the baby needs anymore, I'm thinking about what he's gonna need from me and how to be a decent, honest, good intentioned fuck up of a parent that at least the kid can respect someday. And it is really freaking me out. I just sat in his nursery last night and was quiet. I'm practicing keeping my cool when things are stressful. Just trying to keep my mind and my body quiet. It isn't easy.

Nearly 75% done.

If he were a cookie, that would be enough.

I had my glucose test in early April, which I failed. I had eaten essentially no carbs that day, which could have meant that my pancreas wasn't warmed up to do the work of digesting the sugary beverage they give you (the orange wasn't bad) so it didn't produce the correct amount of insulin to manage it. Anyway, I was really upset (in tears) at the clinic. I scheduled the three hour test and went home to spend the next 5 days reflecting on my future with no simple carbohydrates. Gestational diabetes would further increase my risk of Type 2 diabetes later in life (my maternal grandmother and 3 of her children have it), and I was certain I was doomed.

I easily passed the 3 hour test. I should have listened to everyone who told me the 1 hour isn't very accurate.

We are done with our birthing class. It was okay, but we weren't impressed enough to take the newborn class. I'm keeping an eye out for something - sometimes the Mississippi Market posts some stuff on their board. I'm starting a pregnancy & yoga class on Monday, which I'll probably do until about 35 weeks - or until I can't anymore. I think I should to go to a LLL meeting, but to tell the truth I'm not super excited about it.

My weight gain is at about 16 pounds-ish. It's pretty much exactly where I ought to be. I'm glad I haven't struggled with that; I heard so many stories of 60+ pound weight gains and with the stress of a newborn I don't think I could stand that too. I shopped all of the second hand maternity shops I could find with a little luck (Babies to Bellies, Nines, Nu Look), and yesterday I bought a couple things at Kohl's. Everything is pretty blah at there, but I managed to find some affordable and COMFORTABLE things at reasonable prices AND I got a pair of sandals in WIDE because my feet are swelling a bit. I've got about 8 shirts, 2 pair of jeans and 3 pair of work pants. I should only need to replace a couple of the work pants as I expand. I think I spent less than $150 on maternity gear. I was lucky that Patty and Kayla gave me a few things, and a co-worker offered me some spring maternity gear when she saw me in all black and long sleeves on a 60 degree day. I'm hoping that comes through.

I picked a relatively eventful time to neglect blogging. All of the sudden I can see baby boy move from the outside! He should be nearly 3 pounds by now and his odds of surviving and being healthy if I went in to labor from here forward are very good.

I've got seedlings going. I started them late, but they'll be fine. I started squash, cucs, oregano, catnip, basil, arugula and...I can't remember. We'd like to get a rain barrel set up, but haven't taken the time to figure out what all is involved. Jon is always super helpful in the garden, doing a lot of the tilling, turning the compost, etc, and he seems on board to do even more as I have further limited mobility, which is great.

We're headed up to Sugarloaf with some day roadtripping up to Thunder Bay. We took Friday and Monday off - initially planning on going to FL, then to Chicago, but this is cost free which equals stress free...It will be nice to have some time to do some baby reading, name-storming and agate hunting! My dad says the snow was mostly gone last weekend and it has been above freezing for a while. We're expecting temps in the high 40's to low 50's. I wish we were headed to FL, Al and Cindy's grapefruit tree is calling me, but we'll go next year- when I can make greyhounds from them!

Considering the amount of time it took me to demo the baseboards, scrape, prime, paint, paint second coats, replace all the electrical and light sockets, paint the new baseboards, and finally cut and install the baseboards, it is amazing that I have finally sat down and posted to our blog site. The month plus project probably took so long because it is hard to come home every night after work and jump into another few hours of labor before finally getting to sleep. Wait a minute; this is the same way parenting has been described to us!

I have to admit that it was a labor of love. Much how I expect our many joys and struggles will be with our son. I learned a few things along the way, some from the Internet, some from the advice of friends and family, and some just from trial and error. I have a feeling that parenting will be very much the same journey. I look forward, with a bit of nervousness, to the challenge. I can always buy a new piece of wood and paint over the blemishes, or caulk away the imperfections, but with our son I want to get it right the first time, as the stakes are much higher. I know that I will make mistakes, but that is why I married Tanya, because she will always love me and most importantly always ground me, and inevitable help me make the hard and right decisions.

All right enough with all the introspective babble. I am very proud of how the room came out. The color and scheme came from a piece of fabric T and I found at Treadle Yard Goods on Grand Ave. I wanted a lot of strong colors and Tanya wanted to avoid the typical baby themed room. Not too much blue or baseballs, so we decided on owls. Some are whimsical, some comical (I am still a little nervous about the judgmental one), but I like the colors and the feel of the owls. She bought some of the fabric and borrowed a sowing machine from her sister to make valances for the windows. For the walls we chose a yellow, T calls it butter cream. The real name is Ray of Hope, so much for avoiding the typical baby theme. I think the excitement surrounding the election of Barack Obama is what made Ray of Hope sound fitting.

I primed the old green away and put down two coats of paint we bought at Home Depot that contained no VOC’s and it actually covered very well. I also painted all the existing trim around the windows and doors and removed the old baseboards. Next I changed out the electrical switches and plates. Finally I primed and painted the baseboards, measured many times and cut even more, and eventually used my new finishing nailer and compressor to install them. Thanks for the tools T! That’s it, a piece of cake. I think it turned out pretty good and Tanya had fun too taking that embarrassing video of me. If anyone stops by I will proudly show you my handy work. Much like when our son is brought home in July.


As a postscript I would like to comment on the issue of circumcision. If we are to choose circumcision for our son I will strongly advise the doctor . . . measure twice cut once.

As Prepared as Possible

We've already got two birthing classes down and we're not even 25 weeks. We've got a start on our cloth diaper stash. Jon in putting the baseboards up in the offnursicery which leaves only to paint the doors before we assemble the dresser
(http://justinsomnia.org/images/ikea-hemnes-dresser.jpg) I bought from Ikea last weekend. We're shopping Craigslist for a crib, but in no hurry. We've picked up some second hand clothing and other baby miscellany from Goodwill and friends and family, and we'll probably register this weekend at Target. It suddenly seems like it is picking up momentum. My mom and I are going to Babies R Us today after we have lunch, probably to look at strollers/carseats. That place is so over-the-top it raises my bloodpressure a little bit, but maybe I'll finally by a pregnancy pillow; last night was not a good night.

I found out yesterday that my short term disability is only going to be 6 weeks if I have a normal vaginal birth. I'll probably take two more weeks of vacation/unpaid time, but it isn't the 12 weeks I had anticipated. I'm still lucky for what I get.

We had our first midwife appointment on Wednesday. It was pretty low key. They want to see me every two weeks because of the history of bleeding (I had an incident last week) but as long as my doctor thought it was okay for me to switch over, they are glad to have me. My uterus measures 25 1/2 cm externally at 24 weeks, which puts me on the high end of the 1-2 cm within gestation that it is supposed to be. I've gained 12 pounds, which freaks me out, but doesn't concern the nurses. 10 by 20, 20 by 30 they said. I'm just really concerned with staying around 25. I don't need to deal with the extra emotional trauma of tremendous weight gain with everything else!

That's it for now. I'll post some offnursicery pictures this weekend, Jon is doing a great job!

Nothing Good Ever Comes Easy

Well...It's a BOY! We're spending the day cleaning and purging to make room for him. Our doctor appointment on Friday went well. All of the parts appear to be where they are supposed to, including, of course, the boy part. Here's a picture for your enjoyment.

He's about 10.5 inches long - they really can't tell when he's all curled up, and he weighs in at about a POUND. 21 weeks today. I'm booking through this pregnancy.

Impatient for Friday

So, on Friday we're going to find out what gender the baby is. I've never had any inclination to keep this a surprise (I'm not much for surprises in general), so we're pretty excited to get that info. We'll hopefully be able to start thinking about names, too. We've got nothing so far. I've been feeling it move almost every day for 4 days or so. It feels like someone is tickling me from the inside in brief, almost firm, motions. Probably doesn't make any sense...most woman say "fluttering" or I've heard that it feels like "a bag full of minnows." I think I missed that initial gentle movement- not uncommon for first timers, and am now on to a little stronger stuff.

The baby- yes, its a baby. It moves now and I'm going to find out the gender, I'm finally accepting that I'm going to have a baby here in a few months. The baby is probably about 6 1/2 inches long from crown to rump, but starting this week is measured by its full length from head to foot - about 10 inches. It weighs about 10-11 oz. I have gained about 6lbs, totally on track at this pace to keep under 25lbs, but from what I hear the worst is ahead of me. I believe my placenta may be on the left side of my belly. It seems to be firmer and sticks out a tiny bit more and all of the motion I've felt is on the right- the placenta can block the sensation of movement. Who knows.

I'll update everyong when we know what we're having and we've been assured that all of the parts are there. I know a high school friend just found a heart defect at her FAS, so we're a little nervous. The ultrasound at 16 weeks showed what the tech though was a healthy 4 chambered heart, but it was really too early to see.

Friday will also decide how much more Jon and I have to talk about circumcision. I've basically told Jon from when I met him (When I was writing a human rights paper on routine male circumcision in college) that I couldn't justify circumcising my child, but the issue is much more personal and complicated for him. Feel free to send me feedback on this issue...I don't think my position will change, but I'll listen.

Until Friday, here's a picture of a 20 week girl. Which I'm starting to hope we have (see above).

For shiz up the spout.

I'm pregnant. I feel pregnant. I'm happy I'm pregnant. I'm starting to wrap my brain around its implications for the rest of my life. I'm freaked. The baby is probably 5.5-6 inches long from crown to rump and it is just about proportionally human looking. I'm gonna be a mamma.

"We don't use Pitocin 'willy nilly.'"

We went to the Midwife Meet 'n' Greet and tour at St. Joe's last night. It was great. There was quite a crowd but Jon and I managed to get a couple of questions in. What were they? Jon asked about the accessibility of doctors/surgical staff if the natural birth plan goes awry for some reason. I asked about how the room/staff accommodate the various positions that women labor (I was envisioning kneeling on the cold hospital floor in a pool of blood and needed someone to help me with that).

The midwives all seemed great. They seemed to be very relaxed and had pretty great senses of humor. They also made it clear that if you had a conflict in personality with a particular midwife they would try to get someone else in. That amazed me; not that I have those...personality conflicts.

We learned that about 30% of women come in intending to have waterbirths (we're interested, but not determined) and of those, about half succeed. In order to get into the tub you have to meet a bunch of criteria and be dilated to 5 cm. Meconium is the most frequent culprit in preventing a waterbirth, according to Chris, our tour guide. We really dug her, so we're going to seek her birthing class[es] out when it becomes time.

Overall we are feeling pretty damned good about St. Joe's. I have my last appointment with my OB on the 27th and I'll go to the Mac/Groveland Healtheast clinic for my 24 week appointment and from there forward.

I felt really proud about being pregnant last night. I know it's their job, but they were very welcoming and calming and supportive. I'm not feeling freaked out about having this kid...at the moment.

Rookie Mistakes

Without embarrassing myself with the details of how I overreacted and had Jon bring me to the hospital last night, I just wanted everyone to know we had an ultrasound and everything looks great. I've got a five inch, five ounce baby up in there. That is a bit larger than an iphone.

I still haven't gained any weight and am in this weird place where I don't feel pregnant except some abdominal pain. And headaches.

We've got the Midwife Meet 'n' Greet on Wednesday night. I'll post about how that goes.