For Grandma Bev and Grandpa Harry

Baby's Best Friend

First Foods!

This whole experience seems to be picking up momentum...Kai has had his first taste of "solid" food, just a bit shy of six months old. I spent an afternoon a couple of weeks ago making apples, pears, carrots, sweet potatoes and butternut squash into little single serving cubes for him, so that is working pretty well. He's game for a couple of bites and then starts resisting and arching his back- I'm sure it's just early, but I better not be raising a picky eater.

Kai is getting more playful by the second. Jon is all over this age, too. I'm not sure who does more squealing and giggling, but the two of them seem to have a really good time together. Jon is NOT timid about making up songs, making faces, all of it, and Kai lights up when he sees him. Ugh, getting all emotional.

We went up to Sugarloaf this weekend with the family. It was a lot easier than in the past because he is good to stay awake for longer periods of time so we aren't tiptoeing around him sleeping in the cabin all the time. We just kept him up until 9 or 10 and then one of us went to bed early with him. We're back up on MLK weekend and we're hoping that it's warm enough to have him stay in one of the cabins. Hopefully we can use the monitor from C2 to C3 so he can keep on his regular
schedule, and we can keep on ours (staying up late at SL!).

With the help of my dad and an old IRA that Jon had, we've put some money aside for Kai for school. My dad plans to make an annual contribution- and we intend to continue adding, but he's got enough to pay for a semester's worth of books by 2027. Seriously, though, if tuition continues to rise like it has in the last 10 years, I don't know how we will afford college- or even expect our kids to want to take on those loans.

Here's a video of Kai's first bites of food. And me being bossy. Slow down! Clean him up! Take a break! It's a wonder I let Jon do anything at all.

We're Adjusting...

He's getting so big, probably around 17 pounds, and so strong. He's rolling and scooting in his crib. He laughs a lot. He's sleeping like a champ at night, still just getting up to eat every 3-6 hours. He's just a generally good natured kid.

Kai, Jon and I went to see the MNRG Allstars slaughter the Hammer City Rollergirls a couple of weeks ago. Kai wore his skull t-shirt and was mighty stylin. We met Greg and Daisy's (MNRG volunteers) baby girl Harmony who was only 5 weeks at the bout. Kai was totally mellow all night- until he fell asleep just shy of the end of the bout. He seemed enamoured by the lights and sounds...and his dad's cheering! I think we'll probably only bring him occasionally. Don't get me wrong, there was still a little bit of PBR involved, but it's definitely a different experience with a baby and a diaper bag.

We also brought a bunch of people up to Sugarloaf with us this last weekend. It was great to be able to integrate our family and friends...especially when it involved, "Here, why don't you take the baby for a while?" Everyone was really helpful with Kai. Jon and I assigned ourselves each a night to take him to bed early so the other could stay up late. We ate too much and drank some good bourbon. We didn't get to Taboo, but there was some thorough enjoyment of Gordon Lightfoot and the XM 90's channel to make up for any lost laughs.

Tonight we have a sitter for the first time in like two months (Thanks, Jolene). We're having drinks at the Turf, grabbing a bite to eat and going to see the Coen Brothers' most recent release, A Serious Man. I CAN'T WAIT. Love the kid, just miss the time alone with my husband!

Photo credit: Sam Stoltz

Talking

Kai has found his voice. And so, apparently, has Jon.

Gurgling, laughing, rolling, bouncin and pooping WAY less

Well, it's been a trip. If I am completely honest about the first two month of having a baby at home, I'm not very nice. It was exhausting. We have challenged the limits of our patience. How do twin babies survive?! We are pretty responsive, and we have followed some of the tenets of attachment parenting and seriously- killer.

And then, all of the sudden, we have this happy little kid that laughs and smiles and coos and play UPRIGHT in an exersaucer. It's insane. And he sleeps 12 HOURS a night waking briefly to eat. It's 5 am now, and unfortunately I don't always wake only briefly for our midnight feedings. So, I'll keep up better as the momentum of milestones picks up a bit. Here are some pictures of the last few months. I'll try to post a video of him "talking" too.

Update from 4 month appointment: Kai is meeting all of his milestones- rolled over for the first time yesterday!  He's 26 inches long, 16 pounds.  75 percentile for everything.

Delivery

4:45 am on Saturday July 11th, my water broke. It was a lot less dramatic sensation than I thought, there was no gush, no honey-this-is-it moment. The contents of the toilet were cloudy and it didn't feel like urine. And it just kind of kept coming slowly. A few minutes passed and I woke Jon and said the magic words, "I think my water broke."

We arrived at the hospital within the hour. Because I'm group B strep positive (google it) it was pretty important for me to get to the hospital immediately and start a regiment of antibiotics to protect the baby against related complications. And then we waited. And waited. And waited for labor to start. After a couple of hours we got a little more proactive, walking the hospital, sitting on the birthing ball hoping gravity and using my core muscles would help, and even pumping. All day Saturday as the midwives shifts changed they came in with to monitor my vitals - they had varying limitations on how long they wanted to let me go before the evil Pitocin would be introduced, but I never imagined I'd have to worry about it, something like 80% of women go into labor within 24 hours of ruptured membranes. On Saturday night they offered me an antihistamine and some narcotic, I think Morphine, to make sure I got a good night of rest. I took the antihistamine, but skipped the Morphine.






























I got a few hours of sleep. On Sunday morning the midwife, Rebecca, was mysteriously absent. We would come to find out later that she was kind of pushing the envelope letting me go to see if I would go into labor. Around 2pm we had "the talk" about Pitocin. If we were going to have to induce, we didn't want to get too much later into the night- so that I would have the energy to labor well. So, at 4pm, 36 hours after my water broke, they induced me.

Giving birth was the most physically challenging thing I have ever done, but the physical and emotional exhaustion that followed, along with hormones and adrenaline, quickly hazed my memories key hours of the event.

Mostly, I was really inside myself. Hours of trying to get my body to work efficiently with what the pitocin was doing to me were punctuated by milestones in labor. The first few contractions were scary. I knew they would get worse, more intense, closer together, but I couldn't think how I would survive the ones I was experiencing. I closed myself in the bathroom for a bit to try to right myself.

And then I just did it. It hurt. It really hurt. And I occasionally had a few seconds of a break between contractions to say something salty or tell people to leave me alone. Jon bathed me in ice water and coached me on my sounds and kept me focused. MM cheered me on (without sounding cheery), supported Jon however she could and documented the events for us.

When I got to 7 cm, we moved the caravan of stuff from our room to the waterbirth room. The tub was soothing, but not as dramatically different as I had anticipated. I was probably more comfortable laboring on the toilet. I had hoped to deliver in the tub, it seemed a gentler birth for baby, but the monitors became cumbersome and it became difficult for the midwife to keep good track of Kai's heartrate.

So, out from the tub, loaded up on the bed and ready to go back to my room, I heard someone say that they will need a clinician. I didn't know what that meant, but I guessed maybe a doctor. The midwife said the baby was in distress and started having me change positions to get Kai to respond with a more favorable heartrate. The position changes hurt. Jon was right in my face, looking at me intently, trying to distract me. I was thinking that a c-section was in my future.




Some time passed and then then it was time to push. I don't know how many times I pushed...not more than a few and at 2:21am, he was born. I heard someone say that the clinician was no longer needed, the baby was fine. I never really had the time or energy to react or be afraid of how Kai was. I didn't even have the context to know when to be concerned. But when they pulled him up on my chest he was blue. Blue like...BLUE. And I just couldn't believe he was okay, but they rubbed him and he cried and he was fine.

I pulled him to my breast and he tried to latch right away. The position was all wrong and we were both tired, but he knew what he was supposed to do. I held him as I delivered the placenta (no one ever talks about that, but it's like delivering a preemie twin...not pleasant.).


MM, Jon, Kai and I hung around for a while, maybe a couple of hours? And then Jon took MM home and I took a bath while Kai got his. We spent a little while working on feeding and then we slept.

A Late Report

From Morgon Mae's Facebook photo album:

"Tanya's water broke at 4:45 Saturday morning. After 35 hours of intermittent contractions, breast pumping, penicillin IVs and waiting for nature to take over, Tanya received Pitocin and geared up for labor. For the first several hours, she was composed and very self-contained. Around 10 p.m. Sunday, contractions really started slamming into her and she mastered them with breathing and moving, refusing pain medication so that she and the baby could be alert for the birth. With Jon conducting, Tanya pushed Kai into life with amazing power at 2:21 a.m. Monday, July 13, 2009."

I keep thinking I need to write down what happened before I forget, but I'm not sure I can do the experience justice. It is overwhelming how challenging it was and how proud I am of myself for just surviving the experience, let alone being able to do it without pain medication and in the company of some very supportive and understanding partners. Jon was the most patient and compassionate partner I could have hoped for. He was paying attention, and as soon as we both let go of our expectations of what managing the labor would be, we were able to communicate and get through it. Morgon Mae, cast as the "bucket rinser" never had to rinse a single bucket, though she did have to fetch ice. The documentation of the event couldn't have been enough if it weren't for her insatiable curiousity and commitment to the experience. Ugh. I'm completely overwhelmed by how lucky I was to have you two there. You both believed I was capable of succeeding in the best possible birth for our son and myself and I won't ever be able to recipricate that gift.

Anyway-I'll come back with the blow-by-blow soon- I need a tissue.

Here are some photos of the little guy. He's got Jon toes and my upper lip. Last night, he had my temperment.

The Nursery

We finally got a mattress. We had been struggling with information we had on chemicals in conventional mattresses and the alternative which costs at minimum 3 times as much ($260). We finally opted to buy a $60 mattress cover that is air-tight, waterproof and organic cotton flannel and a conventional mattress ($80) which was produced after 2/09 when the pthalate law changed (Google it if you care). The owner at Peapods estimates that it blocks something like 75% of the gases that can be emitted by chemical flame retardants and plastics in the mattress. This all probably seems crazy to everyone, we all turned out fine, right? Well, if you consider the expense over the 4 years he can use the mattress, I didn't feel bad about being sure-we just can't flipping afford it right now.

2 cm dilated, 70% effaced...

So, last Friday I had my first appointment where the midwife "checked" me. I was 25% effaced, station -1 and not dilated at all. Today, a mere 5 days later, I'm 70% effaced and 2 cm dilated. So, we're on our way.

We still have to get the crib mattress and Baby Beck only has one valance, but I'm lazy and enjoying the last few weeks, days, hours of this pregnancy. He's going to be in our room at first anyway.

Today was Opa's funeral. He died peacefully in hospice care last Friday after a several months of deteriorating physical health and cognition. It was a fantastic service and included nearly as many laughs as tears. What more can you hope for out of a funeral?